The next day, Elizabeth drove Will up into the hills near her home. He was too weak to go by horse, but the wagon ride gave her a chance to explain where they were going. “When Roberto died, I was beside myself,” she told him, steering the wagon carefully around a turn in the road. “I did not have the luxury of time to deal with my grief, though, as I was pregnant with Enrique. I did not have time to stop living or abandon those around me. I tried to continue my life as though nothing had happened, but found myself breaking down in tears several times every day – sometimes at the worst possible moment. At one point, I was out with some of my hands, gathering the sheep for the night. I was overcome with grief, and fell from my horse, hurting myself and almost killing the baby. I knew then that I had to find a way to recover.
“One of my close friends told me that when her father died, she had gone up into the hills to spend time on her own. She had come across a bluff, where she could see for miles down the valley. The area had been quiet and solitary, but never lonely. She told me that she felt she could commune with nature in this place. When she described it, I realized that I needed a place like that – a place to be by myself, and to listen to my heart. A place where I could start to heal. I found a place like that on our ranch, and, at first, spent an entire day by myself. Eventually, my heart started to mend itself, and I saw where I needed to go. I had found my path.”
Elizabeth paused, giving Will time to understand what she had said. “I think that this is what you need, Will. A place where your heart and soul can begin to mend.”
They travelled in silence for some time, and then turned off the main road. Elizabeth helped Will down from the wagon and supported him as they walked the short way into the clearing.
“I will leave you alone for a while,” Elizabeth told him, nodding at the grass. “There are plenty of soft places to sit here, and plenty of room for thinking. I’ve brought food for us to eat later. I’ll be over there if you need me.” She turned and walked away, leaving Will on his own.
Will took a deep breath as he watched her walk away, inhaling the sharp tang of the vegetation around him, and breathing the very sunshine. He closed his eyes for a moment and sent his senses out, but found only quiet and peace; Elizabeth was right – this was a place for healing. He turned to his left and gasped at what he saw. The entire world lay before him – miles and miles of plains, forests, and ranch land. A fine mist covered the land near the base of the hills, but the land beyond that was bathed in rich, warm yellow sun. The creek on Elizabeth’s property was a sparkling jewel, while her large ranch houses looked like children’s toys. His eyes ran across her fields of corn, reveling in the gentle swaying of the stalks. Beyond that he could see her horses and sheep, and beyond that the wooded line where her own forest began. The clearing must sit on the very edge of the hills, he thought, to give him this view.
Will sat down slowly, careful not to stretch or turn his thigh, and let the beauty and enormity of the place wash over him. His was but a small life, he realized, compared to this view. Compared to the world at large, his own world – and the problems he held there – were small and insignificant. His grief was real and incredibly painful to him, but it was also just a small part of the world around him. If he found a way to heal, it would be only a small part of his own story.
He turned to look for Elizabeth and found her sitting on a large boulder, her face turned to the sun and her eyes closed. This woman wanted to help him get better, he thought. She had put her time and heart into his care, and he had repaid her by trying to give it all up. What she deserved, though, was someone who returned to her the same strength she had shown him, and the same open communication he had given her in his first days here.
Suddenly Will wanted to talk again. He wanted to tell Elizabeth everything that he had been feeling, and the thoughts that had driven him to the edge of madness. He had never believed in people who shared their feelings before, but the thought of keeping them to himself – of keeping all that sorrow buried in his own soul – became unbearable.
“Elizabeth,” he said softly, afraid that she might be asleep.
Her eyes flew open, surprised, then gentled as she saw that he was unharmed. “Yes?” she asked.
“I believe I am ready for some lunch,” he answered, smiling. “And I would like to talk, if you are willing to listen.”
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